For nearly thirty years, Samantha was an accountant. A click on the LinkedIn icon above will reveal that for once this isn't even a lie. She gave it up when, despite her best efforts, she only managed to sleep her way to the middle.

She is 55, but looks younger because she's had a lot of work done. Some people have said that that makes her a bad feminist. They don't know the half of it.

Samantha has six children. Three of them are step children, which means that they have been brought up properly, and are beautifully behaved. But her three are a lot better at cheating their way to a poker victory.

Samantha's maiden name was Wise. To this day she is the height of the hobbit, Sam Wise, out of Lord of the Rings.



Her first bid to rid herself of this name was to marry a Latvian whom she met as a teenager. She will not be marrying any more Latvians. They don’t want her to.